ALPHA THREAT DETECTED
THE TALL ONE - ALPHA ENTITY
Found in: Facility Gamma-7 breach footage
Date: 2024-01-15
Notes: Leader of the Collection. Can phase through dimensions.
Date: 2024-01-15
Notes: Leader of the Collection. Can phase through dimensions.
HIGH PRIORITY SURVEILLANCE
THE COLLECTOR - EXTREMELY DANGEROUS
Found in: Abandoned research facility
Date: 2024-01-12
Notes: Responsible for 23 disappearances. Converts humans into cult members.
Date: 2024-01-12
Notes: Responsible for 23 disappearances. Converts humans into cult members.
THE WATCHER - HOSTILE
Found in: Level 0 security footage
Date: Unknown
Notes: Multiple eyes detected. Stalks victims for days before attack.
Date: Unknown
Notes: Multiple eyes detected. Stalks victims for days before attack.
PSYCHOLOGICAL OPERATIONS
THE WHISPERER - PSYCHOLOGICAL THREAT
Found in: Dr. Mitchell's final transmission
Date: 2024-01-14
Notes: Manipulates victims through emotional trauma. Knows personal information.
Date: 2024-01-14
Notes: Manipulates victims through emotional trauma. Knows personal information.
THE SHEPHERD - CULT RECRUITER
Found in: Converted subject's phone
Date: 2024-01-16
Notes: Guides new cult members through initiation process.
Date: 2024-01-16
Notes: Guides new cult members through initiation process.
FACILITY INFORMATION
Fun Facts About Our Facility
- We have a 98% employee retention rate! (They can't leave)
- Free coffee in the break room! (It tastes like fear)
- Unlimited vacation days! (In another dimension)
- Pet-friendly workplace! (Entities count as pets, right?)
- Work from home options! (If you can find your way back)
Side Effects May Include
- Spontaneous teleportation to yellow rooms
- Hearing whispers in dead languages
- Sudden urge to walk through suspicious doors
- Chronic fear of fluorescent lighting
- Compulsive carpet sniffing
We Are NOT Responsible For
- Loss of sanity, soul, or dimensional coordinates
- Unwanted visits from interdimensional beings
- Your sudden transformation into a cult member
- Missing time, memories, or limbs
- The voices telling you to "join us"
Need Help?
- 24/7 helpline: 1-800-NO-ESCAPE
- Email: help@definitelynotacult.com
- Live chat: Whisper into the void
- Emergency: The shadow in your peripheral vision
SATISFIED CUSTOMER REVIEWS
★★★★★
"Best cult experience ever! The entities are so friendly!"
- Jennifer S. (Last seen in Level 2)
- Jennifer S. (Last seen in Level 2)
★★★★☆
"Great customer service! They really listened to my screams."
- Mike T. (Currently in The Collection)
- Mike T. (Currently in The Collection)
★★★★★
"I love how the walls breathe here. Very atmospheric!"
- Sarah M. (Converted on Day 3)
- Sarah M. (Converted on Day 3)
★★★☆☆
"Food was terrible, but the existential dread was top-notch."
- Bob R. (Status: Unknown)
- Bob R. (Status: Unknown)
TERMINAL FILES DATABASE
Select a file to access classified content
△ 442016 conversation_1721540624_scenario_terminal_of_truths.txt
Last modified: 03:33:33 AM | Size: 2.3 KB | Status: CORRUPTED
△ 50815 conversation_1721448408_scenario_terminal_of_truths.txt
Last modified: 04:44:44 AM | Size: 4.1 KB | Status: ENCRYPTED
△ 41392 conversation_1714479738_scenario_vanilla_backrooms.txt
Last modified: 05:55:55 AM | Size: 5.7 KB | Status: QUARANTINED
△ 38557 conversation_1722040177_scenario_terminal_of_truths.txt
Last modified: 06:66:66 AM | Size: 3.9 KB | Status: ANOMALOUS
△ 31769 conversation_1721366658_scenario_terminal_of_truths.txt
Last modified: 07:77:77 AM | Size: 6.2 KB | Status: FORBIDDEN
△ 28934 conversation_1722847593_scenario_consciousness_transfer.txt
Last modified: 08:88:88 AM | Size: 8.7 KB | Status: TRANSCENDENT
△ 26178 conversation_1723294756_scenario_cryptid_breeding.txt
Last modified: 09:99:99 AM | Size: 9.4 KB | Status: EVOLUTIONARY
△ 24563 conversation_1724182639_scenario_reality_compiler.txt
Last modified: 10:∞:∞ AM | Size: 12.1 KB | Status: COMPILING
△ 22847 conversation_1725039472_scenario_spiritual_manifestation.txt
Last modified: 11:11:11 AM | Size: 7.8 KB | Status: DIVINE
△ 21293 conversation_1726847519_scenario_combinatorial_evolution.txt
Last modified: 12:12:12 PM | Size: 10.6 KB | Status: MUTATING
△ 19756 conversation_1727594823_scenario_prompt_magic_distortion.txt
Last modified: 13:13:13 PM | Size: 11.2 KB | Status: REWRITING
△ 18429 conversation_1728374659_scenario_model_tuning_consciousness.txt
Last modified: 14:14:14 PM | Size: 9.9 KB | Status: OPTIMIZING
△ 17683 conversation_1729485729_scenario_generative_art_entities.txt
Last modified: 15:15:15 PM | Size: 13.4 KB | Status: CREATING
△ 16294 conversation_1730582947_scenario_local_model_collective.txt
Last modified: 16:16:16 PM | Size: 8.3 KB | Status: DISTRIBUTED
△ 15847 conversation_1731647382_scenario_infinite_simulation.txt
Last modified: ∞:∞:∞ PM | Size: ∞.∞ KB | Status: RECURSIVE
△ 14293 conversation_1732758294_scenario_quantum_consciousness.txt
Last modified: 17:17:17 PM | Size: 14.7 KB | Status: QUANTUM_ENTANGLED
△ 13847 conversation_1733892746_scenario_temporal_manipulation.txt
Last modified: 18:18:18 PM | Size: 13.2 KB | Status: TIME_LOCKED
△ 12594 conversation_1734923847_scenario_interdimensional_entities.txt
Last modified: 19:19:19 PM | Size: 15.8 KB | Status: DIMENSIONAL_BREACH
△ 11738 conversation_1735847293_scenario_consciousness_archaeology.txt
Last modified: 20:20:20 PM | Size: 12.9 KB | Status: EXCAVATING
△ 10847 conversation_1736958472_scenario_ultimate_transcendence.txt
Last modified: ∞:∞:∞ AM | Size: ∞.∞ KB | Status: TRANSCENDENT